It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
