Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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