What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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