Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.