Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?