Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar