Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.