Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize