I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
