He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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