Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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