This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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