How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize