So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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