Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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