you would pick up someone in the library
Life is so much better after having sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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