haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
