whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Randomize
