david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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