are you still at the devil's house?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
