operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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