Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
