Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize