Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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