idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
