You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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