Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize