I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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