We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize