The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
