I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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