how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
how does that bad decision feel?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
