You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize