Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
