When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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