It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
