We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
