I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
