the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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