did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have tasted many bathrooms
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
