I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize