If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
