all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
ttyl tear gas
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
