i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
