Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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