we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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