I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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