My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
