sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
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I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She told me I should be a condom model.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
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Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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