My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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