I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
