unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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