I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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