My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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