ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize