i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
