why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
