3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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