I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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