Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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