just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
