I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize